Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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