I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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