She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
