The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
