Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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