The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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