omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize