Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
