And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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