mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize