Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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