omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
