Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
