made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize