I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
