Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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