Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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