You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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