walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
