Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
