it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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