my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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