yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
