And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize