I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize