i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
