Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
