i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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