I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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