Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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