how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
