Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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