Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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