I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
