It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize