Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can I color on your dick again?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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