He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
