Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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