Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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