I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
