I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know ð
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
when your dumb AF ex âaccidentallyâ venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... âsorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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