There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
