He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
