his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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