i just had sex bonerless
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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