she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
