grandma shit on top of the toilet
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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