2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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