at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
