he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize