The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
