Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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