it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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