so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence