yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds