Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick. http://tfl.nu/pzxf
  Replies (21) Good night (1279) Bad night (2833)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  then i met college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton (781): then i met college http://tfl.nu/kd7x
  Replies (17) Good night (6411) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis. http://tfl.nu/tt6j
  Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (3883)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans. http://tfl.nu/jn9s
  Replies (128) Good night (629) Bad night (4028)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties http://tfl.nu/4hbe
  Replies (10) Good night (4055) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal http://tfl.nu/qwe2
  Replies (13) Good night (7476) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success. http://tfl.nu/5coq
  Replies (5) Good night (1695) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (2083) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING. http://tfl.nu/dtfs
  Replies (7) Good night (2107) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down http://tfl.nu/2dmo
  Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none. http://tfl.nu/avo6
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days? http://tfl.nu/vw91
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!! http://tfl.nu/dwug
  Replies (15) Good night (853) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville. http://tfl.nu/d4yv
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band http://tfl.nu/jb22
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (522)

Randomize