i think i have herpe
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year