i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
