Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill

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(541): View more from Oregon

She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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(515): View more from Iowa

in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation

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(541): View more from Oregon

Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers

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(775): View more from Nevada

As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.

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