soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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