Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
