dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
