i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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