Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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