last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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