Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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