Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?