Are we in a gay sports bar?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
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So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.