i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing