Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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