I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
