her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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